Aug. 5th, 2023 Chesterfield Township, MI – My wife and I had just gotten out of our backyard in-ground pool about 2 pm when I noticed some wasps flying around our large pool-side umbrella.

“Looks like a wasp nest, Sue,” I told my wife. “I got this.”

“Alright Tom, just don’t play around with the wasps for too long,” she said back to me as she headed into the house.

Now, if I got a dime for every time my wife told me to not play with wasps, I’d probably have about 50 cents. It’s all the other stuff in the yard that she warns me not to play with: cutting shrubs with the hedger and shears, cutting down tree branches with the chainsaw, plugging up hornet nests in our outdoor patio walls. What she warns me about are the things that we men do on a daily basis that has caused us to live on average 6 years shorter than women.

So, this particular wasp nest was not a challenge. It was like the other 20 that I’ve exterminated in my life – some have been more difficult than others.

I went to the basement, grabbed the trusty can of Spectracide Wasp and Hornet killer and our hand-held, electrified bug swatter. I have about 8 cans (either half-full or nearly empty) of Spectracide in a box on the floor scrawled in black marker with the words “Tom’s bug killer.”

I went outside to the pool where I quickly cranked the umbrella down with my hand. And then it happened.

I got stung by a wasp on my kneecap! AGHHHHH! I swore several times. I hopped around on my good leg and the wasp kept flying after me. I nearly fell into the pool, but steadied myself and hopped up our brick patio into our house cursing at the wasp. I got stung on the flippin’ kneecap! It felt like someone injected a needle into my knee and pushed hot lava through the syringe.

The pain seared into my knee like pressing a red hot brand onto flesh. The wasp’s sting actually left the letter “W” in my kneecap. Well, almost.

I hobbled inside the house, put my cell phone on the kitchen table, went to the stairs, grabbed both hand rails and dragged my wounded leg up — all 15,000 steps — to our second floor (dramatic enough for ya?). I went to our bedroom where Sue was and blurted, “I got stung by a wasp!! What do I do?? How do I treat it? AGGHHH!!”

Sue expressed her concern, asked if I was alright, and said, “I don’t know. I can’t check what to do. My phone is downstairs. Can you go get it?”

I’m almost an expert now on wasps after searching Google.

First of all, it was a female that did it because males don’t have stingers (learned that!). Also, unlike bees, wasps don’t lose their stinger after stinging something. They can actually sting you as many times as they want.

According to the National Library of Medicine in Bethesda, MD, “Chemically, wasp venom possesses a wide variety of enzymes, proteins, peptides, volatile compounds, and bioactive constituents, which include phospholipase A2, antigen 5, mastoparan, and decoralin. The bioactive constituents have anti-cancer, antimicrobial, and anti-inflammatory effects.”

Anti-cancer effects from a wasp sting? Bring on the wasp stings!!

But before I get too excited about getting stung again, let me tell you what actually happens when you get stung by one of these little beasts, according to Robert Lamb with HowStuffWorks.com.

First, you get stung. Then peptides and enzymes in the venom break down cell membranes, go into the central nervous system and signals the brain that you just got hurt by something. Then other substances in the venom, like norepinephrine, stop the flow of blood, which is why pain from the sting lasts for several minutes, until the blood stream can carry the diluted venom away, according to Lamb. “Finally, hyaluronidase and mast cell degranulating peptide pave the way for the membrane-destroying elements in the venom to move onto other cells by melting through the connective tissue between them,” he writes.

Ok — no more wasp stings for me.

Now for the worst part. Yes, it gets worse! Two days after I was stung, I woke up in the morning with my left knee about 2 times bigger than my right knee. It was red, itching, and swollen completely surrounding my knee. I drove to our local Beaumont Hospital urgent care where the doctor examined me and diagnosed I had a cellulitis infection in my knee.

Ok doc, give me some cortizone cream and that should do the trick. Nope — the doctor said in cases left untreated, it can lead to amputation or even death. Death?? From a wasp sting? She added that she’s seen a lot more patients going into the urgent care this year for wasp, bee, and hornet stings than in past years.

The good doctor explained the infection in my knee wasn’t because of the wasp’s venom itself, but rather from bacteria that was on the stinger — or it was from bacteria that got into my knee after the tiny insect punctured my skin.

This was biological wasp warfare, learned undoubtedly from Native American Indian tribes. Some Apache and Sioux Indian tribes would dip their arrowheads into manure, sap, or animal blood, which all contains millions of harmful bacteria. In the case of an arrow, when fired at someone, the wound from the arrow may not kill the person, but the resulting infection caused by cellulitis, staph, or sepsis would definitely kill unless the person was treated with antibiotics. Imagine for our early settlers in America, a lot of victims died a slow death this way when shot by an Indian’s arrow.

In the case of the wasp that stung me, it’s nasty stinger could have had any sort of gross tiny microbes on it.

Fortunately, the doctor prescribed me with antibiotics and steroids to beat the infection from the wasp’s bacteria laden-arrow. I’m on my way to recovery and will live another day.

After all that, what are the WebMD recommended at-home remedies for a wasp sting? Clean the area to prevent infection (lesson learned!), apply a cold pack to the area, take an anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen or naproxen, apply or take an antihistamine. Baking soda won’t work like with a bee sting because the venom of a wasp sting is a different chemical makeup. Finally, if you have an allergic reaction, seek medical attention right away.

Needless to say, I’ll definitely be a lot more cautious the next time I’m playing with wasps. At least I’ll make sure to wear the correct clothing: Full medieval body armor!!